Recipe for an Ayn Rand Novel


While digging deep in the back of a kitchen cupboard I found the recipe for an Ayn Rand novel: In a large mixing bowl add a dash of pseudo-plot, preferably with the seeds removed as to cut down on the spicy aftertaste, to a cup of utopian daydream. Pour into a large skillet. At a low temperature slowly churn in a pound of chunked narcissism. Proceed to stir, or more appropriately brood, slowly, for several weeks until the contents melt into a smooth consistency. Now add 6 pounds of chopped didactic rhetoric and several large slices of unrealistic dialogue. When at the store be sure to purchase the "unrealistic" dialogue, otherwise your novel may have that "pathos" taste. Bring to a boil. While it reduces, If you see any compassion rising to the top, be sure to scrape it off. Remove from the stove and put directly in the fridge for at least 4 years. When ready to serve whip until peaks form, like a meringue, giving it the illusion of having more mass than it does. This also helps the little tasty bits supporting the fillers come out of hiding and get back to doing their jobs. Ta Da! Your meal for one is ready to be served.